Monthly Archives: March 2014

Preparing Your Teens for…

A central part of my calling as a pastor is equipping others to integrate what they believe with what they do.  Sometimes (a.k.a. a whole lot of the time) this means what I talk to others about is what I am currently learning… how the Lord is currently shaping me.  So as I observe my oldest entering the teenage years, I find myself identifying more and more with the rest of

the parents who have a child in the youth group.  So… as I look to learning how to shepherd the small flock living under my roof, I’ve come across this solid parenting resource.  Alex Chediak has written a book that has some fantastic nuggets of wisdom that are seated in some very engaging “conversations” revolving around the topics of character, faith, relationships, finances, academics, and the college decision.  For instance, his discussion of “over-parenting” versus “under-parenting” and the resident dangers that each contains is all very good, but he  really hits the nail on the head in the portions that draw out the deleterious effects of parents who allow their young adults to have an unadmonished high self-esteem all while being underachievers.  Chediak says, “Confidence and self-esteem grow in proportion to the expectations of others and actual accomplishments (p.15).” 

Chediak’s “conversation starters” at the end of each chapter are designed to treat the teenage son or daughter with the dignity of an adult all while trying to draw them out to see how they are struggling.  The conversation starters about the topic discussed above includes things like, on one hand, inviting your teenager to tell you how they think you’re doing with the whole under-parenting vs. over-parenting thing.  But on the other hand, there’s a suggested conversation starter aimed at identifying areas of needed growth in your teenager’s life.  This kind of give and take is the life blood of any mature relationship, which is precisely what we are inviting our teenagers to enter into.  Ultimately, Chediak’s book, though aimed at the parent who is preparing their young adult to engage the college chapter of life in a faithful manner, is good for any parent trying to prepare their child for life as an independent, Christian adult.

Leave a comment

Filed under Family life

Rosaria Butterfield at Wheaton

My friend Rosaria Butterfield was at Wheaton College in Illinois recently where she engaged in more public and personal discussion about the intersection of the historic Christian faith, the Church today, and the issue of homosexuality.  She is a brave and compassionate woman and I commend her book to any and all.  I reviewed her book here on this blog almost two years ago and had a chance to spend some time with Rosaria last year for an event on campus at UNCG.  Below is an excerpt from an interview she did with the student newspaper during her recent trip to Wheaton.  The full WORLD magazine article “A Wheaton Discussion of Homosexuality” in which this interview is republished can be found at the link provided.  

The first is, [homosexuality] is a hard topic—it’s a topic filled with shame and vitriol and fear and a lived experience of pain and violence, so it is not an easy topic. And even among believers, it is very important to take the hand of the suffering and put it in the hands of the Savior. You cannot do that unless you get close to the people that get hurt. So often, we like to turn the gospel into this sneaky little worldview raid, and it’s not that, it never was that.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized