BOAT14NC

The Dangers of Wrong Priorities

Kirk — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:51:49 +0000

The following is excerpted from the blog http://www.forgingbonds.org/blog/

Our decisions have a serious impact on the lives of our children. Here is the sad admission of a father from the Midwest named Roy who discovered too late that his priorities had been wrong.

“The first 10-12 years after the kids were born, my work took me away quite a bit. My wife was really good about it, and she did a great job raising our three kids. When they hit early adolescence, however, it suddenly dawned on me that I had missed out on a great deal. After much reflection, I did something I never thought I could do: I quit my high-paying job. Then I went out and found a new job that would keep me close to home. But despite all I did, I was too late.

No matter how hard I tried to put myself back into my kids’ lives, it didn’t work. They had adjusted to the point where having dad around wasn’t necessary. Now, seven years later, we’re a little happier, but it is not anything like I wish it could be. I missed my chance and now it’s too late.”

The sober truth is that your wife and children will learn to live without you if you don’t give them enough time and attention. Here is another truth: Whatever intimacy parents and teens enjoy is almost always cultivated before the age of twelve. Please pass this truth on to every dad you know with kids 1-11!

The God of all grace does help us restore and rebuild from the harm of wrong choices. But there is also real damage, serious injury to those we love most.

Let’s be fierce in our battle to keep our wives and children our top priority after the LORD.

Good Website… Good Article

Kirk — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:11:48 +0000

I was directed to this website many moons ago, and I regret that I have not frequented it more often. Here is a good article from that website, entitled “Manliness Just Doesn’t Happen“. Maybe as a follow-up to this post, I’ll post a few of the resources I have found helpful in contemplating the task of being/becoming a man.

Review of “The Orphaned Generation”

Kirk — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 03:49:00 +0000

Below is my review on amazon.com of the book The Orphaned Generation: The Father’s Heart for Connecting Youth and Young Adults to Your Church by Scott Wilcher. I hope people will read this and be motivated to get a couple copies for their church. It’s simple, clear, vivid, and will hopefully change the posture of your heart toward the younger generations.

There are plenty of screeching voices on the subject of the modern youth ministry. This book is not one of them. What this book DOES accomplish is it becomes a wise guide for those who choose to take up the challenge implied by the book’s subtitle. It is not guilt-manipulation aimed at the older generation. It is not the I-am-really-hip-and-have-the-perfect-program-for-your-church kind of book. It is not a the-modern-youth-group-model-is-of-the-devil version of youth ministry. No where were the words “family integrated model” substituted for the words “Jesus Christ” like I have seen in other places. What any reader will see is a deeply felt compassion for drawing in youth who don’t live in a traditional, nuclear family setting combined with a working knowledge of and fideilty to Christ and His gospel. The author combines his compassion with a nitty-gritty knowledge of how things ARE not how we WISH them to be idealistically. The reader will also find his or her own assumptions challenged as the author is hard on both the older and younger generations. An example of one of the major challenges to the older generations is the call to know the mind of Christ better, to not view the younger generations as belonging “over there” in their own strata of ministry but see them as “our kids” who we love and serve and fold into our weekly life. Church members do this in order to become the wise guides that this book calls them to be so that an orphaned generation can once again feel like the heavenly Father wants them for his sons and daughters.

Always Attended by a Glorious Tolerance

Kirk — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 03:40:09 +0000

The piece below was written by a friend of mine and was submitted to the paper in High Point. He gave me permission to re-post this here after I guaranteed him that his readership would increase by at least three or four more people. His sarcasm is thick, but the hubris to which he is responding arguably deserves every lash of the pen.

Bernie Goldberg: Unbiased Journalist Extraordinaire

“If any candidate says ‘I believe that the earth is 6,000 years old because the Bible says so’ or that dinosaurs walked around with human beings, then that kind of ignorance will affect something, and we ought to know about it.”

Bernie Goldberg; O’Reilly Factor 8/30/2011

Because the journalist most known for his good critiques of media biases, Bernie Goldberg, knows that no good rational answers exist to the evolutionary critique of a literal view of the early chapters of Genesis, we should accept his unbiased, well-informed, and flawlessly reasoned conclusion that none exist. Goldberg knows that Creationists are ignorant of the “irrefutable” ideas of carbon and radiometric dating, visible stars millions of light-years away, and the eons of time required for the Colorado River to form the Grand Canyon. He knows that the Paluxy River archaeological find, which showed human and dinosaur tracks together, must have a better explanation than man living at the same time as dinosaurs. It would be ignorant to conclude otherwise.

But when examined, Goldberg’s unbiased broad-mindedness is still more extraordinary. Those who hold to such ignorant cosmologies, rather than embracing the wholly substantiated and more rational “4.5 billion years” model, should have restraints placed upon them. Those with “that kind of ignorance” should be kept in their private cultural corners, should be limited to their religious closets, and should be exempted from broader citizenship participation. Goldberg’s unbiased, broad-minded litmus test for those living in the home of the free is Orwellian group-think that is always attended by a glorious tolerance.

Can we infer from Goldberg’s comments that his disdain for creationism must be similarly held by all candidates who aspire to elected governmental office and most notably for those who would seek the presidency? We know that he would disqualify presidential candidates who hold to young-earth constructs, but would he also disqualify Perry, Bachmann, Cain, or Romney if they were sympathetic rather than hostile to “that kind of ignorance”? Can we wonder aloud how useful Goldberg’s enlightened understanding of ignorance might have been to those ignorant early scientists who at once gave us and applied the scientific method or indeed to many of our ignorant founders who asserted the endowment of inalienable rights from the Creator?

Goldberg has helped me understand that the surgeons, prosecutors, pharmacists, and PhDs whom I know to be Creationists, along with the more “common Joes” with whom I interact, must each have laid aside reason and intellect to embrace these mindless and ignorant religious teachings. As Goldberg has done his exhaustive and unbiased research into both cosmologies, he is so confident in his own conclusions that he would disqualify all those noted above from full participation in our democracy.

Among all humanity, a more unbiased and evolved understanding would be difficult to find. It is indeed refreshing to know that Bernie Goldberg’s unbiased assertions are not borne of ignorance.

Perry Nicklow, Ph.D.

High Point, NC

C.S. Lewis on “faking it”

Kirk — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 16:12:50 +0000

“What is the good of pretending to be what you are not? Well, even on the human level, you know, there are two kinds of pretending. There is a bad kind, where the presence is there instead of the real thing; as when a man pretends he is going to help you instead of really helping you. But there is also a good kind, where the pretense leads up to the real thing. When you are not feeling particularly friendly but know you ought to be, the best thing you can do, very often, is to put on a friendly manner and behave as if you were a nicer person than you actually are. And in a few minutes, as we have all noticed, you will be really feeling friendlier than you were. Very often the only way to get a quality in reality is to start behaving as if you had it already. That is why children’s games are so important. They are always pretending to be grownups —playing soldiers, playing shop. But all the time, they are hardening their muscles and sharpening their wits so that the pretense of being grown-up helps them to grow up in earnest.”
― from Mere Christianity

Really Basic but Oft Forgotten

Kirk — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 14:52:20 +0000

Here are a couple posts about some parenting principles that never contain the phrase “Studies have shown…” It has helped restore some of my own clarity on how majoring on the majors helps reign in some of the minors:

Of First Importance and Respect is the Duty of the Child

Seeing the Hidden Vistas

Kirk — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 02:38:10 +0000

As our church continues to learn what it means to “savor the grace of the Lord Jesus,” I have experienced my own learning curve as well. While there are certainly many cotton candy passages of scripture and some low hanging fruit when it comes to theological reflection, I sometimes run across a passage in a book that opens a vista where I have never paused to drink in the glory. There are some men, a colloquy from the grave if you will, that do this for me whenever I frequent their writings. Included in this number are such men as Edward Taylor, C.H. Spurgeon, G.K. Chesterton, and C.S. Lewis. But every once in a while, there comes a living author who can put his pen to paper and it is as if he is taking disparate threads of thought and story, and as he draws his pen across the page, my mind and heart can watch the threads mysteriously yet brilliantly drawing together into a transfiguration of what had been there all along. I believe John Piper to be one such man. Piper can take a well-traveled, common path and turn it into holy ground. The following is an excerpt from the chapter “The Glorious Poverty of a Bad Reputation” out of his book Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ (Crossway 2004). I hope it helps you see the vista like it did for me:

When someone hates your cause, all strategies of love will be slandered, even opposite ones… Truth came dressed in camel skins and eating locusts and living in the wilderness and calling kings adulterers and doing no miracles and dying for a dancing girl. And this was not acceptable. So truth came sociably and went to feasts and made fine wine and let a harlot wash its feet. But this too was not acceptable.

What this meant was that form was not the stumbling block. Truth itself was the stumbling block. And so the only escape for the enemies of truth was caricature and half-truth. Jesus is a glutton and a drunkard. That is why he eats with tax collectors and sinners. But beneath the ugliness of calumny is the glory of compassion… Behind the slander of gluttony is the splendor of mercy. Jesus sacrificed his good name to sit with sinners and save them…

In the end, the only ”good name” that matters is not how men feel about us, but how God feels about us. The ultimate slander came on the cross, “Let God deliver him now, if he desires him” (Matthew 27.43). If? There is no question, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matthew 3.17). This is the only good name that matters in the end. This is true riches. This is the glory of Christ.”

C.S. Lewis does it again

Kirk — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 13:52:06 +0000

How does he do it? He takes what I have hoped to able to say, shortens it, makes it more clear, and makes me delight in this concept even more than I did before I read this.

“[To have Faith in Christ] means, of course, trying to do all that He says. There would be no sense in saying you trusted a person if you would not take his advice. Thus if you have really handed yourself over to Him, it must follow that you are trying to obey Him. But trying in a new way, a less worried way. Not doing these things in order to be saved, but because He has begun to save you already. Not hoping to get to Heaven as a reward for your actions, but inevitably wanting to act in a certain way because a first faint gleam of Heaven is already inside you.” — C.S. Lewis

Choose Your Weapon and Fight

Kirk — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 14:53:24 +0000

The following list is derived from a talk that John Piper delivered back in 1995 entitles “Strategies for Battling Sexual Sin”. Piper’s list with the full text of the accompanying scriptures can be found here. The strength of Piper’s strategies is that he is as concerned (if not moreso) that the embattled Christian fill himself/herself with the glories of the Christian life as rid themselves of the darkness. His best illustration from the talk doesn’t make it onto the list I linked to above, and it goes something like this: The best way to get the air out of a glass isn’t with a suction pump… it is to fill it with clean water. And as the glass fills with water it forces the air out. So it is with our hearts. We fight more effectively by being filled, not by merely trying to purge. Here is the list, and from what I can tell, it is in no particular order of importance:

1. Recognize that sexuality is a good gift from God.

2. Recognize that Biblical prohibitions are intended to protect something precious not deny something pleasant.

3. Believe God is for you.

4. Ponder the eternal danger of lust.

5. Think often that God has given you even now many good things.

6. Preach to yourself that there is more joy in God’s presence than in sin. Transpose desire.

7. Realize that lust disables and weakens our capacity for higher spiritual joys with God.

8. Don’t ask, What’s wrong with it? Ask: Does it maximize my experience of the power of Christ, my enjoyment of his fellowship, my perception of his beauty, my reflection of his glory?

9. Cultivate a passionate devotion to the honor of God’s name.

10. Develop a worldview that views absolutely everything in relation to God.

11. (For singles) Recognize that sexual relations are not essential to full personhood and happiness.

12. (For the married) Recognize that God designed marriage to be a living parable of his commitment to the church.

13. Be vigilant over your eyes. Avoid unnecessary stimulation.

14. Look on the opposite sex as eternal persons. Realize that lust inevitably depersonalizes and despiritualizes people.

15. Think often that Christ suffered agony for your purity. Fight image with image. Christ crying in agony.

16. Beware of assuming past successes guarantee future purity.

17. Beware of feeling above accountability.

18. Do not be excessively alone.

19. Get in a group where you exhort one another every day against the deceitfulness of sin.

20. Memorize many scriptures.

21. Stockpile your thoughts with good things.

22. Read the great literature of devotion, biography, etc.

23. Never assume that you are above suffering or that you deserve relief through sin. Beware the pitfall of powerful self-pity.

24. Get busy with some task.

25. Pray at all times in the Spirit for God’s deliverance.

26. Be encouraged; God is patient

I believe some of these to be quite helpful where others are not. However, what is helpful to one person might fall flat on its face for another. Keep in mind that these are strategies and not every strategy is helpful all the time. Just like some warriors find the sword to be more effective for them than the quarterstaff, so we will find the weapons listed here more useful for some than others. The point is to pick up a weapon and push forward. Find the strategy that you can use most deftly and then use it to do violence to the forces of darkness arrayed against you.

Giving a Voice to the Silent Ones

Kirk — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 15:38:34 +0000

The debate in the public arena over where the line is between legitimate government protection and government intrusion into private lives has many gray areas. The recent tussle here in North Cackalacky concerning Governor Perdue’s recent veto of a bill that would have required abortion providers to provide expectant mothers with a sonogram image of their in- utero child is no different. The Greensboro News and Record did a write up on the actions and reactions here if anyone is interested, but I wrote my own (brief) commentary on this issue that I forwarded on to my state senator, Stan Bingham, because he voted ‘no’ on this bill, and he stands in a crucial position to block the 3/5 majority needed to overturn the governor’s veto. Here is my correspondence which I entitled “A Respectful Request”.

Dear Senator Bingham,

Before I offer my request and reasoning behind it, let me thank you, as a resident of Davidson County, for your public service. As a former public school teacher, I appreciate how you voted on the bill that helps remove restrictions on the number of charter schools in our state. As a fiscal conservative, I am grateful for your positive voting record on the balanced budget act of 2011. You are to be commended for these principled stances, one that empowers parents to choose the best educational option for their child(ren) and the other to help relieve present and future tax payers of the burdens being heaped upon them by the out-of-their-mind spending patterns of other state politicians. It is for things like these that I am grateful.

But now I come to my respectful request. You recently voted “No” on House Bill #854, ABORTION-WOMAN’S RIGHT TO KNOW ACT, and you have been quoted as saying, “I’m not inclined to change my mind on this.” My request is that you do change your mind and vote to overturn Governor Perdue’s veto on this bill. Here is my reasoning as to why. The Governor has stated that, “This bill is a dangerous intrusion into the confidential relationship that exists between women and their doctors,” and I have to agree to a certain extent. I also am opposed to obnoxious government intrusion into the lives of citizens, but I also believe that one of the government’s responsibilities is to protect the life and property of its citizens, even the pre-born ones. It seems an acceptable premise that the government has the right to intervene in the lives of private citizens who are intending harm toward future citizens who cannot speak for or defend themselves. Therefore, it seems that the state of North Carolina, through overturning the Governor’s veto, can help protect the pre-born citizens of this fine state from the “dangerous intrusion” of the abortion doctor into the life of pre-born children simply by empowering the mothers who are considering abortion with the pertinent information that is available to them.

Let me reiterate that I appreciate much of your hard work on behalf of all of North Carolina’s citizens. But please understand me when I say this, that this issue of protecting the children from the life-ending procedure of abortion is a hill worth dying on. Please demonstrate your zeal for protecting the lives of those without a voice by participating in the overturning of Governor Perdue’s veto of HB#854.

Respectfully Yours,

Kirk Blankenship, father of three

Senator Bingham’s office has yet to respond to my correspondence, but the week is young. I would encourage all those who read this and are residents of North Carolina (and believe my reasoning to be decent enough) to let Senator Bingham know through email (Stan.Bingham@ncleg.net) or some correspondence that those he represents will be most pleased if he were to join the principled stance to provide the best information to expectant mothers before they make a decision that will end the life of those who can’t defend themselves.